Bullies
Bullies are an ugly but very real part of childhood. There's not much we can do to protect our children from these cruel and brutal kids except teach them how to defend themselves from an otherwise unprovoked attack of the bullying kind. Bullies are kids who have tremendous low self-esteem. They feel better about themselves by tormenting another, usually smaller or weaker child. If a bully decides to pick on someone that is not smaller in size but otherwise imagined as weak, they will usually have a gang around to further ensure the unfairness of the battle. They do not fight fair, nor do they understand compassion, dignity or basic integrity. Gee, wonder where they learned these lovely qualities? A larger, stronger individual has most likely bullied a child who feels the need to bully another smaller or weaker child. Parents or caretakers who regularly torment or abuse their children are teaching these children to torment and abuse others who are not able to stand up to their size, strength or perceived power. These parents or caretakers are bullies themselves. Adult bullies are spouse beaters, verbal abusers, child abusers and the type of person we see personified in fiction as the menace to weaker, gentler people everywhere. They are the ones we love to hate in movies and books. Sadly, they are merely carrying on the tradition of their upbringing. All we can do is teach our children to stand up for themselves in this situation ... to avoid kids who have nothing better to do than torture other children and how to defend themselves if they ever do become the target of a bully. We do not regularly teach our children to kick someone's teeth down their throat or fill their ears with a vicious verbal attack but I do believe that, under extenuating circumstances, children should be taught to fight back, to do whatever it takes to stop their attacker. Children might ignore a name caller or walk away from an instigator, but to do nothing when physically hurt by another child (or adult) leaves them defenseless. I have told my daughters to never start a fight but to always finish one, if possible. They have my total approval in defending themselves, whatever it takes. As much as we don't want to tell our kids to hurt another, do we really want to see our kids get hurt themselves? Of course not. My older daughter was tormented last year for the first few months of school by a group of boys who clearly had no idea how to relate to a cute girl. ;-) She was pretty freaked out ... at first. Then she fought back, giving them a dose of their own medicine. She stood up for herself with dignity and more smarts than the boys were capable of responding to. They are now all very good friends. These boys would fight to the death for her if she were threatened. They huddled around and comforted her when she didn't make the cheer leading team. They STILL apologize for having tortured her! Yes, she is a strong-minded kid. A lot of kids aren't. Those are the little darlings who need to learn to defend themselves the most. Sometimes, enrolling a child, especially a boy, in a self-defense class works wonders for their self-esteem. They are instructed from the first day that they are not to use their newfound talent on another human being, however, the inner strength and physical control they learn can do wonders for their shy and reserved natures. Other good avenues for a child in need of a boost are sport lessons, gymnastics or possibly acting or dance classes for a child who expresses a desire to learn the arts. The better kids feel about themselves, the less likely they are to become victims or bullies in life. A good heart to heart conversation, where the child is heard and understood, can also work miracles in healing a wounded spirit. A child who bullies other children needs to be stopped. They are in desperate need of instruction on caring for and nurturing others. Sometimes, a simple "How would YOU feel ...?" can jar a recessed nerve in their brain to awaken compassion and respect. Naturally, these lessons are best learned at home but a child who is on his way to becoming a sociopath needs help wherever he can get it. Approaching the parents of a bully is probably one of the most unrewarding encounters you might have. They most likely have taught their child to be a bully, albeit unconsciously through a variety of abusive behaviors. I think it is imperative that these parents be made aware of their child's antisocial problem, whether from the school or another parent whose kid has become a victim of the bully. In so doing, we might indirectly encourage some of these parents and caretakers to reevaluate their family values and environment. Copyright - 2000-2005- Rexanne Mancini Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com - http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html
MORE RESOURCES:
Gaga over yogaCalgary Herald, Canada - 6 hours agoNot that an activity that is this much in vogue needs me to defend it, but I've actually heard people slagging yoga. There is no shortage of Garfield types ... |
Johnson turns to yogaThe Press Association - 3 hours agoManchester City midfielder Michael Johnson is having yoga sessions in a bid to cure his nagging pelvic problems. Johnson, who signed a new five-year ... |
Stressed out execs seek relief in YogaEconomic Times, India - Oct 12, 2008Corporates too are becoming proactive and invite yoga consultants to hold workshops and classes in offices. “Such activities help build a good working ... |
New yoga studio opens in FentonFenton Tri County Times, MI - 23 minutes agoWhether or not you have ever tried yoga, there’sa yoga class just waiting for you at Dibbleville Yoga. Located at 302 S. LeRoy St. in Fenton, this new yoga ... |
Yoga - Google News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Create an Emotional Bond with Your Child
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for raising their children is the natural emotional bond that exists between them and their child. Children who feel close to their parents will have a strong desire to obey them.
Americas Public School System --- Brutal and Spartan
The public school system in America has become a dismal failure. But education in many other times and cultures has been quite successful.
Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors
KIDS AND THE NEWSMore than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes traumatizing, news events on TV. It seems that violent crime and bad news is unabating.
After the Driving School
If you visit search engines you can find several resources to assist you on this subject. Try searching on the phrase "parents with teen drivers".
The Most Innovative New Approach for ADHD, a Natural Remedy
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems? A powerful intervention that is clinically tested with computerized testing, not merely parent reports, has been available to the public since 1997, but is little known.
It is an over the counter product that contains specific Amino Acid combinations, Essential Fatty Acids, Phospholipid complexes, and Homeopathic Medicines.
Surprise - Public School Class Size Doesnt Matter Very Much
School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They claim that teachers can't be expected to give their students the individual attention they need if there are too many students in the class.
Signs of Child Sexual Abuse
Many families do not want to believe their child is being sexually abused even if the signs of child sexual abuse are staring them straight in the face. Unfortunately many families are in a similar situation where both parents are working full time and someone other than the biological parents are caring for their children.
Baptisms And Alternative Ways To Hold A Naming Ceremony
Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism. Most still are, but increasingly parents are choosing an alternative, non-religious ceremony.
Homeschool Socialization - Developing Your Homeschool Childs Social Skills
Everyone needs friends, and, as parents, you and I both know we're responsible for our children's social lives as well as our own. As homeschoolers, we also know that kids don't need public school pressure in order to find friends .
Hearing Our Seriously Distressed Children
How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and adolescents?Adolescents are in a period of seeking autonomy and self-determination. These qualities can aid them in becoming agents of active transformation in their own lives.
Ten Tips for a Great First Day of School!
Many children are jittery on the first day of school. Listed are ways to prepare your child for the big day!-Read books about school.
Unilateral Disarmament - The First Step to Improving Communications with Your Teenagers
Many times, we are so conditioned in how we speak that we do not realize whether or not we are effectively communicating with our teens. This is especially true when they upset us.
Difference
There are times when my ideas of raising a child is different from the elderly and others. To begin with, my baby is not an easy one.
How Can I Teach My Child Respect?
A common theme over the past 20 years has been how much children have changed from when we were growing up in terms of how they show respect. I know that for the most part in the 1960's, anyone in a position of authority commanded respect which included parents, teachers, police officers, principals, bosses, coaches and anyone else we viewed in some way as a person in authority.
Communication Mistakes Parents Often Make - And Easy Ways To Correct Them
As parents, we love our children and want to do the best for them. At times, however, the pressures of living every day create stress and distractions for all of us.
A Legacy For Dakota
Have you heard the song; "I Hope You Dance"? It is by Lee Ann Womak. I love that song.
Child Communication Skill: Do You Really Know What Your Child Is Saying To You?
Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old boy is bawling his eyes out. Hurriedly, you run over, and ask "What's wrong?".
How to Teach Anger Management to Your Child
Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around us, due to intolerance, and many of us blame it on somebody else. Parents teach their children, all the time, and when one of us displays "road rage," while our child is in the car, we teach a brand new skill set.
Facing the Homeschool Super Mom
I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus she tutors several other children that are dropped off at her house.
Back to School; Time to Recharge
The back-to-school shopping is done. Brand new pencils, colored markers, and notebooks fill my daughter's back pack.
|
