Handling Failure -- Teaching Kids How to Profit From It
There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at the time that it happens! Failure embarrasses us, feels bad, and often costs us money. Little wonder that people avoid failure like the plague. As parents, we unwittingly pass on the message to our kids that it is bad to go wrong or fail. Teachers punish pupils directly or indirectly, for making mistakes. Their peers never let them live it down. Friends and loved ones try to discourage us from venturing into the unknown, all for the fear of making mistakes and failing. In the final analysis, we have become a people who think we are "better safe than sorry." We become "once bitten, twice shy." However, failure can be a blessing in disguise. Through it we can learn what doesn't work. Then we can find what does. Failure is a much better teacher than success. Success makes our heads swell; failure makes us stop, look and listen. If we add "Learn" to this sequence, then failure becomes the first step to success. Stop-Look-Listen-Learn; that's the way to profit from failure. The role of failure is expressed in these words of wisdom: I've missed more than nine thousand shots in my career. I've lost almost three hundred games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.-Michael Jordan Failure is an absolute pre-requisite for success. You learn to succeed by failing.-Brian Tracy Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.-Marilyn Vos Savant I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed? and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep on trying.-Tom Hopkins If we give our kids the right perspective on failure, that it can be a spring board to success and not a hindrance, then we will prepare them to handle the real world out there, where nothing good comes easy. We will teach them to build realistic expectations - that success does not come easy, that winning comes from losing and learning, that when we lose, we must learn from our losses, and you cannot get success without first failing. Practical examples Here are some "failure scenarios" and ways that we can teach our kids to learn from failure: Scenario 1: He spills his food all over the floor. Lesson: We show him where he went wrong (wasn't looking where he was going, ran instead of walked etc) and how to do it better next time to avoid the spill. We express confidence that he can do it properly in future and praise him when he does. Now he knows how to avoid the mistake, and has the self-confidence to keep on trying till he can do it right. Scenario 2: She gets her sums wrong. Lesson: We show her where she went wrong, and the right way to do them, as often as it takes her to get them right without help. We give her more sums to re-enforce the learning. We express confidence that she can get them right next time, and praise her when she does. This way, we provide an atmosphere where it is safe to keep on trying, because if she "fails" she will be helped and not ridiculed. She learns that it is OK to try and fail, because you can keep on trying till you succeed. And you will succeed, if you don't give up. Scenario 3: He loses his job Lesson: We analyze the situation together, identifying where he went wrong and what he could have done to achieve better results. We express confidence that he will get it right next time, and praise him when he does. The support he receives boosts his self-confidence. Self-confidence strengthens the resolve to keep on till you win. Scenario 4: She gets pregnant Lesson: We talk about the choices we make and having to bear the consequences. We discuss how this will affect her life. We may express disappointment, but also show her that we love her and are there for her. We discuss plans for the baby, and preventing a re-occurrence of this situation. Supporting her through this trying time tells her that she is valued by you, even though she has failed you. Show her that you expect her to make wiser choices in future, and that you believe that she can. This way you boost her self-esteem and strengthen her resolve to be more responsible in future. While you may not agree with some of these recommendations, please note that the focus is on making a learning experience of the situation. It is important to teach children not to be afraid to make mistakes (though we do not plan to make them!). Rather, when failure does happen it's a sign that our strategies aren't working and it's time to make a change. Adults all around the world spend huge sums of money on personal development seminars, trying to get rid of the fear of failure. But you can give your children an edge; give them those success lessons right now! Failing does not make us failures. It is failing to learn from failure that undoes us. We must teach our kids that failure is the first part of success. The sooner you learn all the things that don't work, the sooner you learn what does. And that means success, by learning from failure and winning! Copyright 2005 Oma Edoja This article may be reproduced but only if left as is, with the writer's resource box below, accompanying it. Oma Edoja is a published writer, motivational speaker and infopreneur. She works with adults and teens, helping them set goals, overcome obstacles and move forward. She is also a mother and former schoolteacher. Please visit Oma's motivational blog http://omaslounge.blogspot.com and her parenting blog http://theparentingmix.blogspot.com for more useful tips and resources.
MORE RESOURCES:
Princess Cruises unveils yoga for kidsUSA Today - 7 hours agoStill, yoga for kids? That's the Big New Thing this week at Princess Cruises, which announced it is rolling out what it bills as the industry's first yoga ... |
YMCA yoga class begins at Camp YomechasMiddleboro Gazette, MA - 3 hours agoMIDDLEBORO — The YMCA's Fall I 2008 session of yoga begins Thursday, Sept. 11. A new meditation class will be offered from 6-7 pm, and All Levels Yoga ... |
DNC Bloggers Choose Yoga, Not CheetosU.S. News & World Report, DC - Aug 27, 2008They're twittering away in the "Big Tent," an 8000-square-foot structure with morning yoga sessions and late-afternoon happy hours. ... |
Yoga classes offered in SalisburyBethany Beach Wave, DE - 3 hours agoThe Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Salisbury is located at 2812 Old Ocean City Rd. A lunchtime yoga class is held Wednesdays at noon at Salisbury ... |
Downward dogsCalgary Herald, Canada - 6 hours agoJessica Beck is her 30-year-old owner and a Calgary-based yoga teacher about to launch a class for dog owners and their dogs with Patricia Kopec, ... |
Yoga - Google News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Teaching Reading : Part Two
We know that you want your little guy or gal to have the best start. The greatest thing you can do for your child is to provide a home filled with love and laughter.
EEG Biofeedback Training as a Treatment Option for ADHD
The popularity of EEG Biofeedback Training continues to grow both in the USA and around the world. Many parents are searching for treatment options for ADHD other than medications, and as a results are exploring this high tech approach to treatment.
Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role!
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.Yet I shouldn't have felt that way!My wife had left for work and I was hanging the washing outto dry.
Raising Boys
The last decade has seen heightened interest in and awareness of the issues surrounding boys in most of the western world. It is common knowledge that boys lead the way in all the wrong statistics, including; problematic behaviours, learning difficulties and health problems.
Dealing with Lying: The Dos and Donts
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing cookies and then called him a liar. Brenda Taylor thought her three-year-old's lies were cute, so she ignored them.
Childhood Obesity
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die in this country of too much food than of too little. It's an appalling notion - but an accurate one.
Twins - Double The Trouble Or Double The Pleasure? Both!
If You're Having Twins..
Using Cloth Nappies
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for the environment and for our baby's health (not to mention our pockets) but just how easy are they to use?Here are answers to some common questions to help get you started.Are cloth nappies easy to use?The short answer, is YES.
Beyond the Words, a Childs Voice
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not unlike the sound of constant rain. At first, the rain is obvious as it dramatically announces its arrival, and for a brief moment, you acknowledge the intrusion.
Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson Never Went To Public School
Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison, like most average colonial Americans, spent few years, if any, in formal grammar schools of the day, yet they knew how to read and write well.Most voluntary local grammar schools expected parents to teach their children to read and write before they started school.
Parents Complaints --- Arrogant Public Schools Turn a Deaf Ear
School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation and participation in their children's education. They complain when parents don't show up for parent-teacher conferences or push their children to do their homework.
Help Your Kids Learn More About Managing Their Personal Economy
Remember when cash was a tangible commodity in all of our personal economies? As kids, we went to the bank, shopped with our parents and frequently watched them pay with cash. Now with cash on the endangered species list, today's kids see their personal economic situation much differently.
Of Kings and Youth Leadership
(Isaiah 11:6 KJV) The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.If ever there was a time for youth leadership development for our future, then that time is now.
The POWER of Reading
Reading to your child at a young age is one of the most effective tools for expanding his mind and instilling a lifelong love of learning. Reading a good book allows your child to travel to places she has never been, to meet people she has never met, and to develop an understanding of how to deal with a variety of physical and emotional situations.
Celebrating Life with Children in September
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your children this month.1.
Parents --- Homeschooling Can Take a Lot Less Time Than You Think
The time you will need to teach your children the essentials - reading, writing, and arithmetic - is much less than you think. Let me quote author and former public-school teacher John Gatto from his wonderful book, Dumbing Us Down:"Were the colonists geniuses? [i.
Teenagers and Stress: What Parents Can Do to Help
More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how to support their teenagers who are complaining about the stress in their lives.What parents may not realize, is that what they do every day by providing healthy food, support, and a comforting home, provides the very stress-antidotes their teens need.
Naming Your Baby Is Part of The Challenge of Being a Parent
Baby names are as diverse as the people to whom they are given. Choosing the right name for your baby can be a very challenging yet fun exercise! This is my story.
Coping with the Stress of Moving Home and Childrens Concerns
Moving house can be an emotional experience for adults, so imagine how much more unsettling it can be for children who don't really understand what's going on.There are many things to consider when relocating, none more important than the impact of moving on your children.
Why Fathers Are Such a Necessary Component in the Raising of Their Children.
The first year of a child's life is the most crucial time for Dad's to be present and loving and hugging his child. According to clinicians in the first year of birth babies relate to behaviors not language.
|
