Uniforms
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31, 2004 I am concerned about my daughter, "Julie." She is 16 and a junior in high school. She gets fair grades, doesn't get into a lot of trouble, and doesn't smoke or do drugs as far as I know. Why the concern, you ask? It's the way she dresses. Julie likes to wear baggy pants, T-shirts with rock band logos, skull and crossbones, or phrases such as "Psycho." She wears chains and studs on her pants, wrists, and neck. Ninety percent of her clothes are black. Just two weeks ago she cut her gorgeous, waist length white-blonde hair, dyed it black and pink, and now spikes it every day! I would like Julie to have her individual style, but I think she is going way too far. It is crazy and also embarrassing to my husband and me. Please help me. I have nowhere else to turn! Margaret Margaret, with children you have to pick your battles. It sounds like Julie is a good girl who goes to school and doesn't do drugs. If she has always gotten fair grades, then nothing has changed. If you and your husband have certain limits, such as no tattoos, no body piercing, and reasonable curfews, that's the battleground. Communicate to Julie what your limits are, and realize that beautiful white-blonde hair grows back and a wardrobe can be changed in an instant. Julie may think she is a rebel, but all she has done is don the uniform of the group she hangs out with. The change is as permanent as her age. Let her rebel with the things which don't matter, and don't concede on anything which does matter. If we throw love and care at our children, mixed with a reasonable amount of discipline, things almost always turn out right. Wayne & Tamara Too Far I am in a great relationship for close to a year. I am divorced because my ex had an affair, and we were very unhappy. Before this I trusted each person I was with. I trust my new girlfriend, but she has a childhood friend who is still a friend to her, and they have had sexual relations many times. In a recent trip near where he lives, I suggested we get together and have dinner. She replied it would be awkward, and she was reluctant to introduce us. I didn't press the issue. Now my girlfriend would like to go and stay with his mother, or him as far as I know, and get away for the weekend. She mentioned she would be going to dinner and hanging out with him. She also stated what they shared is over and more experimentation than anything else. I haven't been invited, nor would I really like to go. I am not happy about it. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Roger Roger, why wouldn't you have a problem? Your girlfriend of a year is going to spend a weekend with a man she's had sex with, a man she does not want you to meet. Her explanation that sex between them was experimental is not reassuring. Does it mean she can have sex outside a committed, long-term, monogamous relationship? Would she like this man to commit to her and he won't, but she keeps trying? Is this trip an attempt to pit one man against another? Trust and fidelity are absolute essentials in a relationship, and she is causing you concern about both. You are worried if you put your foot down it might end the relationship, but if you foresee marriage to this woman, you must. Wanting a relationship is one thing. Letting somebody test and break its limits is another. You can't settle for less and get more. When someone tests the bonds of a relationship to this extent, and you don't protest, they don't respect you more. They treat you like a doormat. Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Yoga therapy for stressed out motormenTimes of India, India - 1 hour agoThe railways have now tied up with an NGO to study the effect of regular yoga on the health of stressed out motormen. Kaivalyadhama Yoga Institute ... |
Yoga with a kickKOLD-TV, AZ - 6 hours agoBy Jenny Anchondo - email If you're tight and lack overall flexibility, the last thing you should attempt is yoga, right? Wrong. ... |
Hatha yoga at Rowley Public LibraryIpswich Chronicle, USA - 35 minutes agoThe Rowley Public Library offers a mixed level Hatha yoga class for adults of all fitness levels Wednesdays Sept. 3-Oct. 29, 5:30-6:45 pm, in the Community ... |
Yoga at the River’s Edge continuesMarshfield Mariner, USA - 5 hours agoNorth and South Rivers Watershed Association’s Yoga at the River’s Edge series will continue through Sept. 20. Weekly classes, taught by certified yoga ... |
Be the best at... surfingguardian.co.uk, UK - 5 hours agoYoga is the latest trend among surfers (there's even a DVD called Yoga For Surfers). "Almost all of the pros now practise it," Hall says. ... |
Yoga tree poseIndianapolis Star, United States - Aug 25, 2008This traditional "tree" yoga pose has many benefits for regular yoga practitioners, as well as those who want to strengthen their core muscles and improve ... |
Yoga - Google News
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