My Teenaged Parents
Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled. But, as the single parent of teenagers, I stunk! Faced with the reality of children who could (and did) do whatever they really, really wanted to do, I was often baffled. Functioning as the caregiver of two adult parents, I again find myself baffled. But I am sure of one thing -- It's no wonder many caregivers die before the elders they care for! They simply wear out! Consider this recent exchange: ME: "How is that new medication working?"
PARENT: "It doesn't work. I still feel sick."
ME: "OK, call the doctor and tell him."
PARENT: "I can't. He doesn't answer calls on the weekend."
ME: "Well, someone does."
PARENT: "No, they just tell me to go to the emergency room."
ME: "OK, call the doctor's office on Monday."
PARENT: "Well, he doesn't have anything better to offer."
ME: "How do you know?"
PARENT: "He never does."
ME: "Well, call anyway, OK?"
PARENT: "He doesn't pay any attention to me."
ME: "He can't help if he doesn't know you're still sick. So, call, OK?"
PARENT: mumbles something unintelligible.
ME on MONDAY: "Did you call the doctor?"
PARENT: "No, I'm feeling better today."
ME: "Well, how about I go to the doctor with you?"
PARENT: "No, I'm not a child. And I don't want you treating me like one!"
I've run headlong into these issues more and more often of late. It's enough to drive you to drink - or whatever it is you do to deal with unending frustration. After all, these are my parents - and they are adults. . .or at least they used to be. Could I get help? You can guess the answer! Something about hell freezing over. I'm not about to win this battle, but I could use a friend during some of the more serious skirmishes. Here are a few things that could really lift my spirits: Come over. Don't send flowers. They're just something else to take care of. But a home-cooked meal would be great. Stay and serve it. Even greater! Call often. Not me, my parents. Give them someone else to vent to. Be a chauffer. Take them to the doctor, to shop, whatever. Just take them off my hands for a little while. Start a "Caregiver's Day Out" at your church, synagogue or temple. Give me a break - just a few hours would be wonderful. Suggest a companion from the Senior Corps. These retired adults spend 10-20 hours each week being a companion to shut-ins. If you're retired, consider becoming one yourself. Lobby your Representatives and Senators for more funding for Adult Day Care Centers. The nearest one to me is 45 miles away and does not provide transportation. Some people believe that life is a school with lessons for each of us. If so, my lesson is patience. I know I have to grow it for myself. . .but, please, rally round in the meanwhile. My patience cells are still infants! About The Author Phyllis Staff, Ph.D. - Phyllis Staff is an experimental psychologist and the CEO of The Best Is Yet.Net, an internet company that helps seniors and caregivers find trustworthy residential care. She is the author of How to Find Great Senior Housing: A Roadmap for Elders and Those Who Love Them. She is also the daughter of a victim of Alzheimer's disease. Visit the author's web site at http://www.thebestisyet.net pando19@yahoo.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Johnson turns to yogaThe Press Association - 3 hours agoManchester City midfielder Michael Johnson is having yoga sessions in a bid to cure his nagging pelvic problems. Johnson, who signed a new five-year ... |
Stressed out execs seek relief in YogaEconomic Times, India - Oct 12, 2008Corporates too are becoming proactive and invite yoga consultants to hold workshops and classes in offices. “Such activities help build a good working ... |
New yoga studio opens in FentonFenton Tri County Times, MI - 1 hour agoWhether or not you have ever tried yoga, there’sa yoga class just waiting for you at Dibbleville Yoga. Located at 302 S. LeRoy St. in Fenton, this new yoga ... |
XPRESS |
Yoga with Rainbeau MarsXPRESS, United Arab Emirates - 21 minutes agoYoga enthusiasts in Dubai had their first look at an innovative workout by American yoga expert Rainbeau Mars at Mina A’ Salaam on October 12. ... |
Yoga For YouHonolulu Star-Bulletin, HI - Oct 12, 2008Ray Madigan and Shelley Choy are certified Iyengar yoga teachers and co-direct the Manoa Yoga Center. Address questions to them at Manoa Marketplace, ... |
Yoga - Google News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Dexedrine, Cylert, and Adderall in the Treatment of ADHD
Dexedrine is not prescribed very often for the treatment of ADHD out here in California, but those patients that we've seen on it have done well. Typically it is prescribed to patients who have not responded to Ritalin very well.
Single Parents: Give Yourselves Credit
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I became acutely aware of this fact when my children were young and I was dealing with the challenges of being a single mom.
The Importance of Mothers
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role model, caretaker, administer of hugs and Band-Aids? I think we all have in today's climate of "do more, get more, have more." Many of us work to bring home a paycheck and others work for our sanity.
Parenting: The Road I Chose
Tripping over the shoes and toys that seem to clutter my living room floor on a constant basis, just seems to be part of the game of parenting. I realize it doesn't have to be that way.
Bad Company
Here we will come to know who are the most responsible person to make your child an addicted person & failure.In general we see kids who are addicted of tobacco , drinking, smoking, etc.
Super Nanny - A Users Guide to Watching Super Nanny
There are many things to like about the television show Super Nanny that has captured the public interest in recent weeks.First, the nanny character is very likeable, if a little scary at times.
Lead with Love:How Mothers Can Use Their Greatest Strength to Manage Around Their Technical Weakness
My wife and I have been working on a video scrapbook for our son now for about a year. The project originally started out as a movie of all of our video clips but it was immediately apparent that this scope was far too great.
The Twenty-First Century Parent
John was a 43 year-old sales manager at a large company. He's married and has 3 children, ages 7, 9, and 12.
Using Cloth Nappies
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for the environment and for our baby's health (not to mention our pockets) but just how easy are they to use?Here are answers to some common questions to help get you started.Are cloth nappies easy to use?The short answer, is YES.
Got To, Get To - Change The Way Your Family Thinks
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the waythat I, and my family, think about life. The story is asfollows:There was once a high-powered woman in her 30s who ran herown company and was massively successful in business.
How to Foster a Love of Reading and Writing in Your Child
The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When reading and wiring are a regular part of your family's life, you send your child the message that they are enjoyable, valuable and great ways to learn.
The Reticular Activating System, and its Role in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
In our last article about the neurology of ADHD we began to introduce the reader to the system in the brain known as the Reticular Activating System. The Reticular Activating System is the "attention center" in the brain.
Inattentive ADHD: Just Like Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh is the classic picture of Inattentive ADHD. In other works we have called this "Space Cadet" style ADHD.
So, My Child Has Been Recommended for Testing - What Do I Do Now?
You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As your blood pounds in your ears, you hear her explain how she has noticed your child having difficulty with some academic subject in school.
To Clean or Not To Clean
Before my daughter was born my house was so tidy and immaculate that you could eat off the floor! Dishes were done immediately (no dishwasher here!), the toilet was cleaned every morning and the house was dusted and vacuumed quite frequently. Today? The dishes sit on the counter till the next day when I tip-toe to the kitchen before the baby wakes so I can get it cleaned and put away, the house is vacuumed just when it looks like it needs it and the dust sits even now several inches thick upon all my furniture.
Parenting - Give Your Child The Tools To Build Strong Character And Values
There are many parenting styles. Yours may be very different from your own parents, your siblings, or your neighbors.
Would You Know if Your Child Were Being Bullied? 4 Tips to Keep Them From Becoming a Victim
The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to Keep Your Kid From Being a VictimChildren bullying other children has been an issue since there were children, and though it has often been downplayed as "part of growing up," it has always had potentially serious implications from an emotional perspective.But these days, due to a host of factors such as our society's glorification of celebrity and being popular, violence in mass media, and easy access to deadly weapons, the implications can be especially risky.
Difference
There are times when my ideas of raising a child is different from the elderly and others. To begin with, my baby is not an easy one.
Birth of a Parent
So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change in ways you might find unthinkable (and we're not even talking about the surrender of your once slim waistline to proportions most comparable to that of a Dr.
Parents and Children Working Together
When parents help their children learn to read, they help open the door to a new world. As a parent, you can begin an endless learning chain: You read to your children, they develop a love of stories and poems, they want to read on their own, they practice reading, and finally they read for their own information or pleasure.
|
