Positive Parenting - Oops! I Really Lost My Temper With My Kids, What Now?
Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret it ten minutes later? Silly question, it happens to us all no matter how well-behaved our kids or placid and patient we are. At times the general strains and stresses of life wear us down so our emotional responses don't match children's behaviours. Or rather, their less than perfect behaviour doesn't warrant the 'screaming banshee' response that you have provided. So what do you do if you have blown your top and given your children an absolute verbal blast with steam coming out of both your ears? First, check that your rare outburst of anger is just that - rare. If you are always angry or over-reacting then this is a fair sign that all is not right with you. I don't want to state the bleeding obvious, but constant sudden outbursts of anger are a sign that all is not right with the world. It may mean taking a break, getting some additional help with your kids or even getting some professional counselling to sort out internal or relationship issues. If your outburst is rare rather than pathological then the best response is to show your children that your are human and apologise. Put a little time between your outburst and your apology and consider giving an explanation. "Sorry about yelling at you guys. I have been working so hard lately. I guess I need a break." No need to grovel, just reveal your human side to your family. Your children will take their cues from you and will more than likely talk on an emotional level if they see you go to the same space. Revealing your vulnerability gives children permission to reveal theirs. It is a good anger management practice to check your own anger levels from time to time. When you know you are under stress and feel yourself about to blow your top- take a break, phone someone up (and vent your spleen, if possible), or just to count to 20 (or 100) before you blow your stack unnecessarily to your kids. There is a place for parent anger in the discipline process - as long as it is controlled. There are the times when children really need to know they have crossed a line and your whole voice and attitude needs to convey that a behaviour is unacceptable. Most parents will know the type of response I am referring to. The voice goes steely and the words come out purposefully. Eye contact is strong and body language is direct. The kids aren't frightened. They just know that that their mum or dad mean what they say! Gulp! It is the type of response that should be saved for times when children put each other down unmercilessly, or when they show gross disrespect to themselves, others or their environment. We all want to steer clear from angry responses when we interact with those we love. But being human means that our behaviour doesn't always reach the lofty heights that we would like, and at times we lose our cool. So recognise the signs of pending anger and take steps to manage it, and if you do lose the plot, reveal your vulnerability and apologise. Nothing wrong with that! Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael's Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au
MORE RESOURCES:
What yoga can do for youInquirer.net, Philippines - 8 hours agoAnd where there are millions of people whose lives have been transformed, or at the very least, improved by the practice of yoga, then you know that ... |
Yoga students seek balance, strength (VIDEO)GoErie.com, PA - 11 hours agoThe desks are gone, replaced by yoga mats. Candles and covered lamps provide the lighting for a dozen women who work quietly through a series of stretches ... |
Yoga in class ties some in knotsChicago Tribune, United States - 19 hours agoParents and religious leaders in upstate New York are up in arms over a public school district offering yoga instruction to students, claiming it violates ... |
Yoga more than just for meditationAbilene Reporter-News, TX - 3 hours agoMy doctor wants me to get more exercise, and she recommended yoga. I know yoga has become very popular in the past few years, but how will it help me? ... |
Is It Safe to Use Online Yoga Courses?KTNV Las Vegas, NV - 5 hours agoYoga is a growing trend, and it's getting more accessible than ever, but striking the perfect pose is easier said than done. Doctors have a warning for ... |
Yoga "can help the memory-challenged"Totally Fitness Health and Fitness news, UK - 10 hours agoA yoga expert from the US is running a course in which those with memory problems, such as Alzheimer"s patients, can take part in the activity. ... |
Yoga plus oneBelleville Intelligencer, Canada - 16 hours agoWith one-year-old Willow on her lap, Kim Belanger-Mills demonstrates how to do yoga with a toddler in tow. Sometimes, her daughter sits on her abdomen as ... |
Yoga - Google News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Unschooling - the Benefits of Home Based Education
Home schooling benefits children. As a parent, I feel it is important to provide the best opportunities available to my children.
The Secret To Keeping Kids Interested on Family Vacations
Vacations and trips are great family events, but how do you keep kids interested and busy during the down times? Have them keep journals of the trips and their impressions.Writing JournalsTake a minute to give some consideration to your most recent family vacation.
Failure or Future? Its Up To YOU!
We all want to comfort our children after they suffer any kind of failure or disappointment. It's only natural.
Home And School Education - Your Kids Can Benefit From Both!
Once, as a Learning Support Teacher, I made my way down to the annexe that housed the school's History Department.The annexe was about 100 metres from the main schoolbuilding, down an attractive, leafy hill.
Dads - What Family Legacy Are You Passing On to Your Children?
Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship with your child?To begin, you can learn from your own father:Whether you consider him to have been a good father or not, you can use your experience to become a better parent to YOUR children.Patterns of behavior are often passed on unconsciously from one generation to the next.
Clean Your House Green for your Children's Sake
My thirteen-year-old daughter recently called me up to say she had cleaned the whole kitchen and bathroom herself. So many emotions ran through me at that moment.
Top 10 Things To Never Believe From Your Teenager
1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just keeping it for someone else.
A Place For Everything: Its Childs Play
What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room and wondered, "Where did I go wrong? How could I have created someone who creates such a mess?"At this point it is essential to recognize that not everyone is born organized, just as not everyone is born with a talent for art or mechanics. But anyone can learn the basic principles of organization given sufficient motivation and instruction.
The Importance of Fathers
There is no doubt that mothers play an all-important leading role in the lives of their children. They are the obvious heroes of child rearing.
Help! My Kids Dont Listen to Me
Does this sound familiar? Have your kids not listened to you when you wanted them to? This is one of the most common issues that parents bring to me seeking help and support. Parents tell me that instead of listening to them, their kids sometimes ignore them, walk away, don't do what they are told, laugh at them, turn up the radio or TV, talk back to them or give them the silent treatment.
Back to School Success Tips
Q. With the school year just beginning, what can we do as parents to help make this a successful year for our teen-ager and our family?A.
Got To, Get To - Change The Way Your Family Thinks
I recently heard a story that has literally changed the waythat I, and my family, think about life. The story is asfollows:There was once a high-powered woman in her 30s who ran herown company and was massively successful in business.
Single Parents: Give Yourselves Credit
Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.I became acutely aware of this fact when my children were young and I was dealing with the challenges of being a single mom.
Television - The Great SATAN!
I've often thought that in 6 million years, archaeologists will marvel at the devotion the 21st century Earthlings had to their household gods. Excavation will show these deities in virtually every home, obviously objects of devotion, the focal point in a room.
How to Give Your Child Encyclopedic Knowledge?
When you talk about multiply your child's intelligence, you can't help but to mention about Dr. Glenn Doman.
EEG Biofeedback as a Treatment for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder the subject learns to pay attention to his own brain wave activity, and then apparently learns to change and control his brain wave activity. The subject is given immediate feedback on just what his brain's activity is like at any given moment through the use of high-speed computers which provide both auditory and visual feedback.
How Children Learn
Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do for a child is provide a nurturing environment. By doing this, we influence children's brain development and their ability to learn.
Grandparents! Help Your Grandkids Do Math!
This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances in education, many kids stillstruggle in the math class.
Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue
Q. How do we decide what our teens should be able to do? How do they earn trust and responsibility?A.
Raising a Tobacco-Free Kid
We begin forming healthy habits at a young age. With all that we know about smoking, it is astounding that young people will still take that first puff of a cigarette just to see what it is like.
|
