ParentingYour Teenager: Dont Buy the I Dont Know and I Dont Care Attitude
"I don't know and I don't care." I've heard those words more than a few times in my office. Sometimes I think "I don't know and I don't care" is the universal teen tribal motto. So what to do? I remember working with one kid who said absolutely nothing in the first session but "I don't know and I don't care" at least 10 times each. So just before he came for his next session, I wrote "I don't know" on one side of a sheet of paper and "I don't care" on the other side. I then taped the piece of paper to the couch I thought he was most likely to sit on. In comes the kid, cracks up laughing, tapes the paper to his shirt, and then begins to talk for the rest of the meeting. 3 Keys for How to Respond I tell you the above story because it offers three keys on how to respond to "I don't know and I don't care." 1) Don't buy into what they are saying. It's just a way to try to get you to back off, and/or to see if you care enough to pursue them. 2) You simply must keep your sense of humor. Get hooked and get angry and you are dead in the water. 3) Do something different or unexpected. As parents we can become predictable. If I can get parents to respond in ways that put a confused look on the face of a teen, I know we are getting somewhere. A Fun Response The next time you hear the words "I don't know" respond this way: "Well, you know what, at your age it's OK not to know a whole lot. But if you did know, what would it be?" I use this in my office all the time. Nine out of 10 times, the kid will answer and start talking. One time out of 10 times a teen will respond with "You are just asking the same question in a different way." To which I respond "You know what, you are right! And you have also just shown me how very bright you are, so quit playing dumb and answer the question." In the face of the universal teen motto, remember: Don't buy it, keep your sense of humor and don't get hooked. Respond creatively and differently. Visit ParentingYourTeenager.com to subscribe to Jeff Herring's free internet newsletter "Parenting Your Teenager" and the free 5 day e-program on the "5 Things to Avoid Saying to Your Teenager."
MORE RESOURCES:
New class at North Shore Yoga designed for childrenChattanooga Times Free Press, TN - 13 hours agoA children’s yoga class unravels more noisily than adult versions of this ancient Indian practice. “There are a lot of active poses,” said Claire Mooney, ... |
Something in the way he livedNewsday, NY - 9 hours agoBY ROBERT KAHN | robert.kahn@newsday.com A Hofstra University professor who studied yoga with George Harrison leads a tribute concert to the late Beatles ... |
Teacher uses yoga to inspire studentsSun-Sentinel.com, FL - 9 hours ago"Yoga is a powerful tool to help students and teachers relieve stress and gain inner strength and concentration," she said. "The sessions are brief, ... |
Yoga in a chairLouisville Courier-Journal, KY - 8 hours agoBy Darla Carter • dcarter@courier-journal.com • November 20, 2008 If the idea of getting down on the floor to strike a yoga pose makes you say, "Ouch! ... |
Ventura Harbor Village hosts outdoor yogaVentura County Reporter, CA - 12 hours agoBy Alex Wilson 11/20/2008 Yoga enthusiasts mix their routines with sunshine, ocean air and views of sailboats gliding by during a series of “Gentle Outdoor ... |
Yoga Could be DangerousKUTV, UT - 19 hours agoAt first glance, yoga may look hard, even painful. And if you are not careful, you could really hurt yourself. Studies show that yoga can help you gain ... |
Yoga - Google News
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