The Three Rs of Handling Your Emotions
My son was watching a Richard Scarry video this morning as I was doing my usual rushing around, getting ready to leave the house. He's watched it countless times, but I've never managed to sit through the entire thing. This morning one song caught my attention, "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands", which I sang many many times as a child in Sunday School, and always followed with "If you're happy and you know it, then your life will surely show it ..." In the version I heard this morning, the first verse was followed by "If you're angry and you know it, stomp your feet", which made me pause a moment. I muttered to my husband, "Since when do kids need to be taught to stomp their feet when they're angry?" What do we do with anger? What do we do with any of our emotions? Are they a right, a luxury, an indulgence, or just a part of being who we are? Some of us "wear our heart on our sleeves," leaving those around with no doubts about what we're feeling. Others (myself included) tend to keep a poker face, leaving everyone guessing. Sound familiar? Both extremes have their advantages, but as I muttered this morning, kids at least seem to start out putting their emotions out there for all to see, and aren't one bit shy about it. The key in all of this? What do you DO with the feelings once you've looked them deep in the eye and acknowledged that they are yours? Do you stamp your feet? Clap your hands? Act them out? Give them away? The very bottom line ... do you react, do you release, and do you respond? The three basic R's ... three healthy stages. Reactions are more or less involuntary and spur of the moment. There is no thought involved, but an instinctive gut reaction based on the emotion you're feeling. Releasing emotions has two parts. First, release everyone but yourself from any responsibility for the emotion. It's your feeling and your responsibility. Then you can choose to release the emotion entirely and give it up to God or to the universe if you wish, or follow it up with a response. Responses are based on thoughts and reasoning rather than feelings. I believe there is a place and a time for all three, so long as the emotions are acknowledged first. At times a gut reaction may be the most healthy and helpful, usually when associated with positive emotions like joy, love, affection, and so on. Negative emotions like anger usually work better when you make it past a gut reaction to release and response. Sometimes emotions are overwhelming and we almost can't help but react. Making a very raw painting was my reaction to a super-strong feeling of anger a few weeks ago ... rather than break something (my first impulse), I grabbed the brushes and paints and went to it. I admitted I was angry, and then checked my first reaction and let fly with a slightly controlled response instead. Potential disaster and regret averted! One last thought on sharing your feelings ... letting others know how you feel, especially in a responsive way, gives them the opportunity to respond back to you. Chances are if they can see your face or hear your tone of voice they have a good idea how you feel, but telling them has a much greater impact. The R that doesn't belong, Repression, never helps. Feelings in the open can be addressed, and I love the fact that my son is old enough now to not only stamp his feet and clap his hands, but to tell me how he feels about things so we can talk about it. Go on then ... keep the three R's in mind when dealing with your feelings ... react with abandon, release always, and respond wisely. Bethany Rule is an experienced personal and professional life coach, championing human development, encouraging change, and helping you break your own rules. Based in NYC, she works with clients all over the world. Please visit http://www.bethanyrule.com to learn more.
MORE RESOURCES:
Higher education, with yogaGlobe and Mail, Canada - 16 hours ago... a gymnasium and a 1700-seat varsity centre that can host convocation ceremonies, as well as dozens of dance, fitness and yoga studios. ... |
The medicinal powers of yogaCBC.ca, Canada - Sep 5, 2008But medical research that's been accumulating over the past 10 to 15 years is showing that yoga can provide health benefits that many people may not realize ... |
Reaching out through yogaFort Wayne Journal Gazette, IN - 14 hours agoShe also hopes it can change the world, which is why the Indiana native founded the non-profit Yoga World Reach (www.yogaworldreach.org) in Vail, Colo., ... |
Yoga At Cranberry Lake PreserveWestchester.com, NY - 20 hours agoThen join certified Kripalu Yoga instructor Franklin Shire for an outdoor morning session, Saturday, September 13, 9:30 am at Cranberry Lake Preserve in ... |
Princess Offers In-Room Fitness, Yoga for KidsCruise Critic, NJ - Sep 5, 2008Princess Offers In-Room Fitness, Yoga for Kids Princess Cruises is expanding its onboard spa and fitness offerings. Among them: In an industry first-ever, ... |
Yoga - Google News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Stress Management
Have you ever said the words, "This job/my life is so stressful!" Or something else along those lines?Most people believe that stress is something that happens in their lives. They believe it is the result of outside circumstances beyond their control.
13 Stress Reducers & Profit Boosters
The United Nations declares workplace stress to be
a worldwide epidemic. In the United States alone,
forty-six percent of workers report that their job
is very stressful.
Recognize the Early Signs of Burnout
Most of us are trying to balance work, home, and a family life. We tend not to accept the early symptoms of burnout and carry on our daily lives.
Relieve Anxiety with Hypnosis
There are two types of anxiety:*Situational
*Existential.Most of us experience both kinds.
Stress Management: An Owners Manual for Your Brain
Here's an amazing quote from Time magazine:"At birth a baby's brain contains 100 billion neurons, roughly as many nerve cells as there are stars in the Milky Way."My first thought was after reading this was "Wow, we get all that power and hardware with no owner's manual or instruction booklet!"Having just recently purchased a new computer, I've been pouring through owner's manuals and instruction booklets, trying to understand a tenth of what this machine can do.
Stress Buster Tip: Relax From The Weekday Stack!
Everyday can be full of stress but we all deserve a break from life's daily deadlines. Whether you're at home or work we all need to take the time to unwind.
Stress & Burnout: The Adrenal Factor
I was a psychotherapist for years before I got involved in the holistic movements..
Stress Management: Declare Your Freedom To........................
1) Create the life you desireTwo of our most underdeveloped muscles are our choice muscles and decision muscles. Begin to exercise these muscles by making decisions and choices that serve to create the life you desire.
Extreme Self-care: Make Time for Yourself
If you've recently experienced loss or are going through a time of high-stress or uncertainty, it's important that you make a special effort to look after yourself. Here are a few things you can do to care for yourself physically and emotionally:- Take time out.
Stress Management: The Power of Expectancy
On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water skiing with some new friends. I hadn't skied in a while, and as I floated in the water with long pieces of wood strapped to my feet, here's what I remember thinking:"I wonder if I remember how to do this.
Planning Stress Management
Deadlines at work, demanding bosses, bills to be paid at home, kids demanding for time and attention, changes in the environment, etc. AAARRRRGH.
Mindfulness and Panic: Ask Your Anxiety
Panic.Heart racing.
Natural Stress Relief - Without a Doctor!
Are you looking for stress relief? No drugs, no meditation? Have you ever thought about taking up a craft? In fact, doing a craft is a prescription for good health. And more importantly you do not need to be good at the craft to benefit!Imagine feeling more relaxed.
Stress Management: 3 Rules for Dealing with Difficult People
Seems like more and more they are all around us. You know who I'm talking about - all those difficult people who seem to cross our path everyday.
Is Your Workplace Suffering from Contagious Stress?
We wonder how many of you might recognise this scenario? Although it happened with a male manager, it could apply to men or women. The manager we worked with had been promoted to a more senior role and was experiencing demands from all sides.
Sshhh... Listen to Your Own Voice
It was a self-exploration that made me understand myself. It was like discovering the one last elusive word in a jigsaw puzzle that completes other words.
Common SENSS Stress Control
Statistics show that all of us experience stress at one point in time or another. It is no longer a question of whether or not we are stressed, but rather how much stress we can tolerate.
Stress: Daily Self-Care Habits to Manage Stress
Today we have more stress in our lives than ever before - good stress, bad stress, red stress, blue stress (my little ode to Dr. Seuss).
7 Healthy Ways To Release Holiday Stress
Many people go through the motions during Christmas. If not
the whole holiday season just parts.
How Stress Effects Neurotransmitters
The brain uses feel-good transmitters called endorphins when managing daily stress. When the brain requires larger amounts of endorphins to handle increased stress, the ratio of many of the other transmitters, one to another, becomes upset creating a chemical imbalance.
|
