HELP! Im Working with a Baby!!
Did you know that more than half of our adult population has an anger problem? Have you experienced them? They act all flustered and pitch a fit. Can you believe it that some of them actually throw things when they get mad? And not only that, they cuss up a storm, rant and rave, and carry on like they are a child. We all have probably experienced people like this on occasion. But what about the people who do this on a regular basis? How do we manage them? How can we confront them in the office space? What if this person is our boss or our partner? We know that they need anger management or counseling, but babies don't have the ability to see that about themselves. Perhaps passing them this article will help you along! Okay you people who have an anger issue.. listen up!!! You can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys you; laws, social norms and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take all of us us. According to my research, "People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing and calming.
Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive - not aggressive - manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behaviour. The danger in this type of response is that if the anger isn't allowed an outward expression, it can turn inward - on yourself. This may cause hypertension (high blood pressure) or depression. Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behaviour (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticising everything and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships. Finally, you can calm yourself down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behaviour but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down and let the feelings subside." (resource - internet)
If you are a person who is working with a BABY, perhaps you'll start by having a short conversation just explaining that sometimes he/she is somewhat difficult to talk with because they get so frustrated and act out. Sometimes just calmly stating a fact can be less intimidating than a formal "lets talk about something" kind of meeting. One client recently was asked by his partner why one of the associates didn't call her directly. He explained to her that she had a tendency to go overboard with stress and neither had the time to deal with her drama at the moment so she was bypassed in the decision making moment.
Because the conversation took on a sort of apologetic tone, yet, was also explaining the situation, the partner seemed to GET it, that her outbursts had caused more stress on others and not just herself. For the next week, my client has noticed that his partner hasn't stressed openly and has seemed to get a hold on her anger. Since my client is on a friendly basis with his partner, I've given him some exercises to help his partner get to the root of her anger. While I'm not a therapist, and neither is my client, there are a few exercises that aren't so intimidating to a person who is willing to explore the original source of their anger. When the person is obviously upset, ask them to calm down and sit down and agree to talk about it. You can say, "You're obviously upset. Let's sit down and discuss what our options are, and just tell me everything".
Don't argue. Don't talk back. Don't disagree. Just listen. Take notes if you can and just listen intently with your eyes. Try to understand. This is what the person needs, to be understood. When they are through, ask questions. Ask specific questions to get clarity on the situation. Let them talk until they are through.
Take a minute before you answer. Think about what you are going to say. Start by acknowledging their feelings such as, "I understand why you are so upset. I'm sorry that you are upset. Let me see if I understand how you feel." Now, read back what you wrote down so they know you understand.
Now, go through your side of the story. (Hopefully without interruptions). Don't yell or be confrontational. Just explain the other side of the story. Be careful to pause between listening and talking. Pausing is a great indicator of being thoughtful about what you are listening to and saying. It is a great communication tool! Regardless of the outcome, you've now coached your partner through being able to explain their side of the story without completely exploding. Practice makes perfect. Tell them that they did a good job. Endorse good behavior and encourage them. Working with a baby is a hardship on many. If you have the guts or the power to tell the person to go get THERAPY, then do it. If that isn't a possibility, then learning to coach them through dealing with their own emotions may be a logical next step. It's going to take some energy on your part, but it might save your work environment in the long run. Having difficult conversations are somewhat stressful, so having a coach to help you through it might be a good next step for you. We can work together to help your partner mature into a thriving adult who expresses his/her feelings in a healthy way.
I don't know about you, but I think it sounds fun! So don't cry about it! Just give me a call! To learn more about Mary go to: http://www.marygardner.com/
Mary Gardner is an Executive Communications Consultant and Coach. She works with, coaches and trains individuals, sales teams, executives, and celebrities. She enjoys seeing the best come out in people and has fun in the process. Mary is married to Sway and is mommy to Jeremy 5 and lives in Orlando, FL.
MORE RESOURCES:
Strike a Yoga Pose: HummingbirdFitSugar.com, CA - 2 hours agoI think we're all ready to kick it up a notch and try this gorgeous arm balancing yoga pose. I know it looks intense and very advanced, but as with most ... |
Yoga Helping Alzheimer's PatientsKOLN, NE - 12 hours agoYoga is being used by The Arbors assisted living center in Lincoln as a revolutionary treatment for Alzheimer's Disease. It's a lot like regular Yoga with ... |
Yoga For ArthritisCorsavoo.com, France - 14 hours agoWith the help of yoga, you can become stronger and more flexible as well as confident - even if you are suffering from arthritis. ... |
Swami Mukundananda teaches yoga in NJIndiaPost.com, CA - 10 hours agoNEW JERSEY: Over 200 people attended a six-day yoga camp last week conducted by Swami Mukundananda, a student of Jagadguru Shree Kripaluji Maharaj, ... |
Wellness Center offers yoga, pilates classesUST Bulletin Today, MN - 10 hours agoSTAR and the Wellness Center present fall yoga and pilates classes open to all St. Thomas students, faculty and staff. No experience is necessary. ... |
Yoga - Google News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Stress Management: 9 Universal Laws for Problem Solving
1. The Law of GiftsRichard Bach, author of "Illusions" says "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in it's hands.
The Power of Five
Do you ever fret? In today's materialistic age, sometimes fretting is inevitable. With so many goals to achieve and needs to meet, fretting has become the "official emotion of the generation.
Stress Management Shouldnt Create More Stress. 10 Ways To Reduce Unreasonable Stress and Boost Perf
We all know that stress levels in the workplace are reaching unreasonable levels. And most sensible human beings will agree that we have to take action to fix this problem.
Overwhelm: Love It or Leave It!
Amazing thing, overwhelm!You don't usually see it coming. It just kind of creeps up on you, doesn't it?Even those of us who love juggling a million projects at a time get overwhelmed once in a while.
Dont Let Technology Psych You Out!
We've all experienced it-computerized technology that doesn't function properly. PCs that crash on Monday morning, copiers that melt transparencies, printers that smear ink on Board reports, phones that crackle during crisis calls, Internet viruses that destroy everything but non-essential data, faxes that send documents to the wrong long distance number, and so forth.
Stress Managment and Mastery: 7 Ways to Take Yourself Off Restriction
Q. So many times in my life, I seem to hold myself back from what I want to do.
HELP! Im Working with a Baby!!
Did you know that more than half of our adult population has an anger problem? Have you experienced them? They act all flustered and pitch a fit. Can you believe it that some of them actually throw things when they get mad? And not only that, they cuss up a storm, rant and rave, and carry on like they are a child.
Energy - How to Have More of It
Something the successful business person needs is - lots of Energy!
You need Brain Energy and you need Body Energy. However as with any other kind of energy, it's constantly being drained away and needs replacing.
Stress Management: Are You a Worrier or a Warrior?
Do you attack problems and solve them or do you whine and moan about how it's just not fair?Do you anticipate and plan for the future or do you worry about what's around the next corner?When life hands you a lemon, do you make lemonade or do you complain about the size of the lemon?Do you see the glass as half empty, half full, or perhaps just not big enough?Let's look at a few ways to be a worrier, and see if you recognize any thing in your self. Then we'll look at how to be a warrior.
Are YOU Controlling Stress So Stress Does Not Control YOU?
Have you recently moved or started a new job? Do you feel you have too much to do and not enough time to do them? Do you worry about your financial situation? Do you worry about your future? Do you feel your efforts at work or at home go unappreciated?If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions, you are experiencing stress but you're not alone.Two surveys indicate that worker anxiety is rapidly rising.
Stress Management: Declare Your Freedom From...
1)Excessive worryNo, I'm not saying "don't worry, be happy."Well-used worry can alert us to areas in our lives that need attention and change.
Stress & Self Esteem: Raising One by Lowering the Other
In our article about Exercise & Stress, we looked at the way these two factors form a self-reinforcing cycle that can work for us. With stress and self-esteem, however, the relationship is negative - both in the technical sense of the words (i.
Managing Your Every Day Stresses And Anxieties
Looking for all of the answers in how to manage your persistent anxieties and stresses? As an author of a managing fear book, I found it difficult to find all of the answers in managing my anxieties. Although I am a layman and not a professional, I have interviewed many psychologists and clergyman and I have over fifteen years of experience in dealing with fear.
There is no Such Thing as Good Stress
Q: What is Stress?A: Very basically it is the physical, emotional and spiritual tension that arises in a person when they are being pulled or pushed outside of their comfort zone by internal or external forces.Q: I've heard people talk about good and bad stress.
Ten Easy Relaxation Techniques
Stress is more than just unpleasant. It's dangerous.
20 Ways to Shift Worry Into Attractive Energy
Worry, big or small blocks positive vibrations from entering your realm. The longer the behavior, the deeper the roots, the harder to override.
Mindfulness and Laughter: Gaining Clarity While Giggling
Life is funny.Throughout the day, there are plenty of humorous moments that we tend to ignore.
[Emotional Health] Are You Feeling In Control?
When it is all said and done, do you feel like you stay on an even keel emotionally most of the time? Here is a story about how easy it is to lose one's emotional balance.Recently, I was coming home from an evening business meeting in Tokyo.
Busy Fish: Tips for Changing Your Day from Chaos to Calm
Syndicated columnist Dale Dauten recently wrote, "One of life's great joys that we've lost is that of the empty day, a day given over to quiet, to reading and contemplation. Our planners and PDAs give the illusion of importance and of being in control.
How To Eliminate Or Manage Stress
Are you a "worry wart?" Is that term familiar to you? It is
to me but it's been a long time since I've heard it used. I do
remember people telling me years ago when something was
really bothering me and they would say, "Oh! you are a just a
real "worry wart".
|
